So, it's a brand new year and lots of people see this time as a chance for change. Whether it be to eat healthier, exercise regularly, read more or spend less, it can be the fresh start that many of us want or need.
Over the last few years though the attitude towards resolutions has turned and has become a bit of a negative one. Last year I witnessed debates, practically arguments about whether New Year's resolutions were worth the effort or commitment, with the people who had made them often left feeling embarrassed that they have shared their aims.
I made a post on my Facebook page at the time in support of those that had made resolutions and acknowledging that they aren't for everyone but if they work for you then go for it!
You don't have to make New Year's resolution but if you have then good for you. Don't be embarrassed. If you're made to feel that way it's more of a reflection on the other person than you. Maybe they don't have the commitment for resolutions. Maybe they're happy as they are. Maybe resolutions just aren't for them.
In the past I've felt the same but then I've thought back to my younger days. I was 19 years old, out of college and working as an agency temp at our local university. A university I'd previous hoped to attend but couldn't because of a lack of financial support. I couldn't drive and my lessons were a bit of a shambles. I couldn't find a job in my dream field or just a permanent job for that matter, in fact the job I had was only part-time.
On my first day back after Christmas I'd stood at the bus stop in the freezing cold and then drudged through the snow around the university campus to the office. When I got there I discovered the heating wasn't working in the Reception, which was more of a conservatory, and we were dependent on a small electric heater to keep warm but it kept cutting out. The tiled floor was like an ice rink but I was asked to change into my high heels as normal and told I couldn't keep my coat on to keep warm as it would 'look bad' if anyone came in.
It took a couple of hours but I soon found myself with my head in my hands saying 'what the f**k are you doing with your life'. It would probably be much quicker now I'm an old 30 something! A colleague in her late 20's, who to me at 19 seemed so much older and a proper grownup, pulled me into the kitchen, sat me against a radiator, shoved a cup of tea in my hand and attempted to hug heat into me.
She asked me what was wrong and I explained that I felt a million miles away from anything that I wanted to achieve. My friends were having a ball at uni or travelling and I couldn't even get a full-time job, not even a temp one and this was well before social media and FOMO! Imagine how I'd feel now!
First off she told me to not compare myself to others. Everyone's paths were different. Yes, I hadn't gone to university but I had a job, even if was only a temporary part-time one. I also had a steady boyfriend and would possibly settle down sooner, which turned out to be right! She also told me to make some New Year's resolutions but the younger, freezing me, rolled her eyes. So she reasoned with me and told me to call them goals instead. Write them down, put them in the back of a book or behind a photo frame and I did.
Out of 5 goals I achieved 4. I passed my driving test, bought a car, got a full-time job and had started to build on my savings. Yes, that full-time job was still a temp one but it was full-time. My Dad had also helped with buying the car but I put towards it and paid for the insurance. I'd put out what I wanted to achieve and by the end of the year, whether it be fate, the universe or my hard work, I'd nailed 4 out of the 5.
I regularly set new goals and when I do I achieve them. Not all but at least some. Last year I achieved one of my main ones when I left my office job to go self employed, which then lead to another and being able to do the school run everyday and not having to pay for childcare. Result!
Setting resolutions or goals for the New Year might be just what you need to get you what you want. It might just set you on the path to amazing things and if it does it doesn't really matter what your cousin twice removed says on Facebook or what Barbara a couple of desks down thinks.
Now write down your resolutions and go and get 2019!!!
Mummy Snowy Owl
xx
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