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Monday 28 September 2015

Winter 14 - The trouble starts


As I sit and wait at the Doctor's I feel sick with nerves. They are running behind and the GP's seem to be trying to rush through patients. I am finally called in and tell the GP my concerns. She tests the sample I have taken and agrees with the midwife that it is likely I have a kidney or bladder infection. She double checks which antibiotics to give me and writes a prescription. I mention a couple of times that Angie has said they should listen to the baby but she doesn't seem overly keen. In the end I say I will call Angie as I leave and see what she suggests to do. At that point the Doctor jumps up and goes to find the practice doppler.

After a few minutes I think she's forgot me and gone home but she appears in a fluster and tells me to lay on the bed. I do as asked and adjust my clothes. The Doctor puts the gel on my stomach and pushes the monitor around.

Crackling.........crackling..........crackling...........no heartbeat. The Doctor pushes down harder with the doppler. I do the best to fight back tears and the urge to wee. I don't know what to make of what the GP says next.

Wednesday 27 May 2015

Winter 2013/14 - The 12 week scan, Christmas and New Year!


When we reach the 12 week scan date my husband and I are beyond excited but also incredibly nervous. When we arrive at our local hospital I am taken into a side area and have bloods taken, blood pressure done etc. Once that's done we have a short wait and are called into the sonographers room. The sonographer tells us she will do the scan, check things over and take all the measurements she needs to. Once she's happy she will tell us what she sees. As she starts she tells us we can look at the flat screen TV on the wall and we will be able to see our baby. Our little baby flickers on to the screen. A baby. An actual BABY!! No longer a little flickering bean shaped heartbeat but an ACTUAL BABY!! Once the sonographer has finished she assures us everything seems ok, pointing out the head and the babies long legs. Just like Daddy already! She asks if we have any questions and we both seem to sit in silence. After a moment we both explain we are still amazed to be pregnant and although we are well aware of what a baby looks like on a sonogram it seems a huge jump from our little Bean to an actual baby shaped baby!


Tuesday 10 February 2015

Autumn/Winter 2013 - Just knocked up - Start of pregnancy to week 12


So the day has nearly come around for my scan and I feel a mix of excitement and anxiety.

My husband and I discussed who and when to tell people and we have told around half a dozen to a dozen people and have sworn them to secrecy. One of those people is my Mum but the problem with telling her is that she CANNOT keep a secret! We did consider not telling our parents but thought it best to in case something unfortunate happened and we needed them. I was still a little unsure about telling them but became backed into a corner when Mum asked me to help her lift something heavy from the car. I said no and she stomped off, whilst my Dad gave me a look that said I was unhelpful little madam! Obviously they were over the moon when I explained why a few minutes later.

By the time my birthday and the scan came around I'm struggling to keep it under wraps. I feel sick a lot of the time but never actually throw up and spend a lot of the time feeling like I've just come off a rollercoaster. On my birthday my sister knocks at the door as I've got my head in the loo and as you can hear me heaving all over the house I think I may have been rumbled. Thankfully, she never asks and doesn't question why I am under the weather.

Tuesday 20 January 2015

Autumn/Winter 2013


Waiting, waiting, waiting. I have peed on a stick for the hundredth time and the time has come to look at the results. I look at the stick and at the all important windows. I think I'm going to be sick. There's a line and another. I have more than one line. I look again. There's a line in the test window to say it has been taken correctly and in the results window there are two lines. TWO BLOODY LINES!!!

It has took six years, two operations and a round of Clomid but I am pregnant. ME! PREGNANT!!!! The woman that is barren! The woman that has endometriosis!! I'M PREGNANT!!!! I hear the cleaners approaching and fight the urge to shout from the roof tops and do a little dance in the cubicle instead!