Thursday 31 July 2014

Summer 2013 - Part 3 - So close

So here I am. In the hospital standing on the scales of doom. The nurse tells me again to stand still and I try not to roll my eyes. She also looks at the height measure attached to the scales and I'm tempted to stand on my tiptoes but I'd probably wobble and fall over. If only I'd carried on with ballet! God, if I did it now I'd look like the hippo from Fantasia! I try my best to keep still and the nurse leaves me on the scales and wanders round to her desk and taps on her calculator whilst looking at BMI charts.

'Well, you're BMI is now around 30.05.'

It needs to be below 30. I won't lie but for some reason I wanted to punch her. It was perhaps my hormones but I felt, and do still feel a little, that she was slightly smug when she said it. I'm sure it was just me or that she had got sick of the sight of me. I perhaps deserved the look she gave me. I mean it's me that can't stop eating cake, not her. I don't think she's ever seen a cake!

Thursday 26 June 2014

Summer 2013 - Part 2 - You just need a big poo

After my last visit to the hospital I feel I'm nearing the finish line. Yes, I have a couple of pound hurdles to go but the target is realistic and I'm not a million miles away from it. I battle to get the last few pounds off before my next weight appointment.

I walk into the hospital so sure I have finally done it. With my husband at my side I am sure I have. My scales say I have. I must have. Bad news. I haven't. It's a different nurse to before. I have met her previously and I know this one isn't as friendly and doesn't look like she has seen a cream cake or bar of chocolate EVER! I had hoped it was the one from last time but sadly it's not. She works out my BMI and it is around 30.1. It has to be below 30 for NHS treatment. As she did last year, she points out that I do now meet the requirements for private treatment if I'm willing to pay! I am gutted and I'm sure my husband is too. He somehow remains upbeat and I make an appointment to return in a couple of weeks.

Sunday 15 June 2014

Summer 2013

So having been probed and flushed I really have to get my finger out of my backside and get down to my target weight! After my latest operation one of the nurses suggests I book in for regular weight checks so I keep on track and hopefully stop myself cheating too often. I do as I'm told and find myself going to be weighed every few weeks.

My husband, close friends and work colleagues are very supportive, as are some of my family. Unfortunately, I feel some people in my life aren't as supportive as they could or should be and the sly comments about me always dieting and falling off the wagon can be heard, loud and clear. I'm well aware of my dieting mistakes over the last few years and I'm the one that has to live with them. I'm the one that has it on my conscience that I have not lost the weight, not made myself a mother or made my husband a father. I battled on regardless ignoring them the best I can.

Sunday 18 May 2014

Spring 2013

So at my appointment in February the consultant said he was pleased with my weight loss but was concerned with my pale 'English rose complexion' and that my endo may have got worse again. He decided the best away forward was for another lap and dye. 

I waited and waited for the appointment and after some pushing from my husband, friends and colleagues, I phoned the hospital to see what was happening. Greeted by a not so friendly secretary I was told that the consultant hadn't marked part of the notes correctly so she had sent my file to be put away and hadn't passed it over to the treatment centre to be scheduled. She said she would do it over the next few days and I should call the treatment centre the following week, which I did. When I called they'd just had my file and said it had been marked as urgent and they could fit me in the following week as there had been a cancellation. This took me a bit by surprise so I spoke to my husband, my Mum and my boss, who all encouraged me to take the date and move forward and that's exactly what I did. The following day I went for my pre-op and bloods.

Saturday 17 May 2014

Baking & blogging!!

So no doubt some of you will have noticed that I have not blogged for quite a while. This is for a couple of reasons, so I will tell you my excuses now! First of our laptop broke and wouldn't stay on for more than a few minutes at a time, which is a bit of a problem when it comes to blogging/typing/doing anything  remotely useful. My place of work doesn't allow us on sites like blogger so I couldn't up date you in my lunch break. Anyway our laptop is now replaced and I have made notes over the last year of things I'd like to share. 
I also wasn't sure that people were overly interested in what I was writing about but after quite a few requests I'm back. I still can't believe how many people, far and wide, actually read my blog! It's quite flattering to know that people from the USA, Denmark, Nigeria, amongst other places, are actually reading my blog. Either that or they've clicked on it in error!!

Monday 4 February 2013

I'm back!!!!!

So, after lots of 'are you still blogging?', 'when's your next blog?' etc.....I'm back by popular demand!!!!

It's been over six months since my last blog and I've had so much going on I've not taken the time to blog but now I've purposely made time and promise to do so in the future.
So, what has been taking up my time? Firstly I turned 30!! Part of me wasn't bothered, part of me really was bothered!! After much debating I celebrated by having a meal with the family and it was great to get my Mum and Dad, all the siblings and their children together. My two oldest nieces spoilt their old aunty with a pair of lovely balloons! I also went late night, glow in the dark, UV bowling with my dear husband and a close group of friends! They also spoilt me with pressies and a gorgeous chocolate cake. Like the responsible adult I am I got so drunk I could barely get up the stairs to bed and was quite poorly through the night and into the next day. Not the correct behaviour for a 30 year old! I think my liver and kidneys are still recovering and I've not had a proper drink since! I was also spoilt by my lovely work colleagues who not only got me gifts but also made a big fuss of me and decorated my desk and even put up posters around the office, just to be sure nobody missed that I was turning 30!! All the fuss made the whole issue of turning 30 much easier to deal with.