Autumn/Winter 2013 - Just knocked up - Start of pregnancy to week 12

So the day has nearly come around for my scan and I feel a mix of excitement and anxiety.

My husband and I discussed who and when to tell people and we have told around half a dozen to a dozen people and have sworn them to secrecy. One of those people is my Mum but the problem with telling her is that she CANNOT keep a secret! We did consider not telling our parents but thought it best to in case something unfortunate happened and we needed them. I was still a little unsure about telling them but became backed into a corner when Mum asked me to help her lift something heavy from the car. I said no and she stomped off, whilst my Dad gave me a look that said I was unhelpful little madam! Obviously they were over the moon when I explained why a few minutes later.

By the time my birthday and the scan came around I'm struggling to keep it under wraps. I feel sick a lot of the time but never actually throw up and spend a lot of the time feeling like I've just come off a rollercoaster. On my birthday my sister knocks at the door as I've got my head in the loo and as you can hear me heaving all over the house I think I may have been rumbled. Thankfully, she never asks and doesn't question why I am under the weather.

Autumn/Winter 2013

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I have peed on a stick for the hundredth time and the time has come to look at the results. I look at the stick and at the all important windows. I think I'm going to be sick. There's a line and another. I have more than one line. I look again. There's a line in the test window to say it has been taken correctly and in the results window there are two lines. TWO BLOODY LINES!!!

It has took six years, two operations and a round of Clomid but I am pregnant. ME! PREGNANT!!!! The woman that is barren! The woman that has endometriosis!! I'M PREGNANT!!!! I hear the cleaners approaching and fight the urge to shout from the roof tops and do a little dance in the cubicle instead!

Summer/Autumn 2013 - The Clomid commences

We are on our way to breakfast and the phone call comes sooner than expected. As soon as we've eaten we head back to the hospital to collect the prescription. When I pick it up they wish me luck and book me in for a scan for around the time I am due to ovulate so they can check if I've ovulated or not. I wait for over an hour at the pharmacy and while I wait I let those that need to know or have wanted to know that I'm starting treatment. There's a lot of excited people, good lucks, well wishes and fingers crossed.

When we get home I read the packet and the advice notes cover to cover. It warns of hot flushes, emotions and cramping amongst other things. I take the first one and give myself a 'come on, you can do this'. The first couple of days are fine but on the last day of the tablets and the couple that follow it I am somewhat in a state. By the Monday I am tripping over words, having hot flushes and dizzy spells, my head is pounding and I feel so sick I'm worried about how I going to get on at work. I also have a commitment with the other Brownie leaders and I really don't want to let people down. I get out of bed and try and pull myself together. It doesn't go well. I am tripping wet with sweat and feel like I'm going to pass out. Close to tears, I phone work and let them know I won't be in and I drop Brown Owl a text too. By the time I ring my husband and my Mum I am crying like a baby. Mum arrives soon after and I have another shower to try and cool down and she settles me in front of the TV, like the old days with a blanket (as I'm now freezing) and a Disney film. I'm back at work the next day and things settle down.