Sunday 7 February 2016

Push, Drag, Stitches

So, my waters have gone. It's official. I am in labour. The midwife has a look and confirms it's my waters and I haven't wet myself. Within a few minutes I am on the bed and having a drip but into my hand. I'm told it's to speed my labour up and to begin with it's fine. A midwife will now be with me for the duration and my husband goes off to get some lunch, as the midwife rigs me up to my friend, the monitor.

When he comes back the midwife tells him how well I'm doing and we chat among ourselves. Then the drip strength is doubled and the pain is stronger and quicker. Then it's doubled again and it's bad. The midwife times the contractions and they are lasting far to long with too little a break. I can't breathe. I need the loo. I'm going to be sick and then, well then, it all goes blurred and dark.

Close up of hospital drip tubes

Wednesday 3 February 2016

The Time Has Come

This is it. I have been admitted to hospital and all being well I shall leave with a baby in my arms.

My husband brings in my case and helps me settle in but once he's gone I feel lonely. Lonely and scared. The midwife has pulled everyone's cubical curtains back so I hope to spark up a conversation but it's not to be. The other expectant mums pull them back round and continue to talk on their phones.

Just after ten I am told it's time for lights out but as the doctor has said I should go back on the monitor and have a sweep I ask the midwife when this will be done. She tells me there's nothing on my notes and walks off.  Half an hour later I am woken by a tapping on my shoulder. The midwife is back with the machine I am now best friends with and tells me I need to go back on the monitor. It's like our earlier conversation never even happened! Bean's shuffling starts and I am on the monitor until gone one in the morning. There's no mention of a sweep being done and when I'm finally off the machine I'm left to settle down to sleep but I barely do. I toss and turn. Sit up and lie down. I am worried. I'm a bit scared. I'm lying, I'm bloody terrified! I want my husband. I want my baby. I want to go home.

Saturday 23 January 2016

The final countdown

So here I am again, wired up and lying on a hospital bed. Oh joy. I'm on and off for an hour as the baby keeps shuffling away from the monitor. I get a break when I'm sent for a scan and am greeted by the same midwife as before. She explains the scan will be the same as before, with measurements taken and the baby's movements being checked. The midwife makes a start and I quickly hear the baby's heartbeat but as I look at the large screen on the wall one thing is clear. The baby isn't moving at all.

After nearly twenty minutes of being scanned the midwife calmly tells me that the baby is probably asleep. She suggests I go back out to the waiting area and drink some ice cold water from the water cooler. The midwife shows me out of the room and calmly closes the door. I put my bags down and as I shuffle past the other expectant parents. I see her go at speed across the waiting area and into a side room. I see her outline through the frosted glass of the office and can see her on the phone. When the midwife calls me back in she tries to reassure me as much as possible but it doesn't work.

Wednesday 13 January 2016

Spring 2014

So here I am between 34 and 35 weeks pregnant, sitting on a bed in the labour suite of the local hospital, legs akimbo and a light being shone up, well, you know where!

After an uncomfortable few minutes I am told my cervix is closed, which is a good sign. I am sent home and told to return the next day for more monitoring and another scan. I am exhausted but the thought of my husband or Mum packing my things prompts me to stay up a little longer and throw together my hospital bag.

The next morning I decide to go into work before my appointment at the hospital. My boss is really understanding and has already told me not to go in but I really don't want to leave them in a mess. I try and creep in but the waddle in my walk and the large bump give me away. I promptly get an almighty bollocking for going in, which looking back is well deserved! I do the bits needed and one of my colleagues, commonly known as my work wife makes me a drink. I'm not sure which is more of a miracle, the fact I am pregnant or that she has made a drink! I feel quite tearful as I leave and my work wife has to turn away as we sniffle our goodbyes.

Monday 4 January 2016

Winter / Spring 2014 - Bringing it all up to date!

So I’ll admit it. I’ve been very slack on the blogging front. Posting little snippets here and there and not bringing you up to date. Over the next few days I will bring you up to date. So, here it goes, from 2014 to now. Hold on to your knickers it’s going to be a bumpy ride!!

I last blogged about January 2014. I had a kidney infection and my midwife had told me to ask the GP to check for a heartbeat with a Doppler. When she does the GP can’t find a heartbeat. I am obviously upset. Close to distraught. She tells me to relax. If the midwife didn’t hear it last time she wouldn’t be able to find it. I tell her the midwife did find the heartbeat. She looks uneasy and tells me again not to worry.

By the time my husband gets home I have turned the house upside down looking for the open letter the hospital gave me. I can’t find it. I admit defeat and call one of the numbers on my notes. I explain the situation to the midwife on the phone. She is truly lovely and agrees that telling me not to worry is not the best advice. The midwife tries the best to reassure me and tells me to make my way in to one of the wards. One of the staff will then call them when I’m there, as they work out of an office on the ward in the evening.

Monday 28 September 2015

Winter 14 - The trouble starts

As I sit and wait at the Doctor's I feel sick with nerves. They are running behind and the GP's seem to be trying to rush through patients. I am finally called in and tell the GP my concerns. She tests the sample I have taken and agrees with the midwife that it is likely I have a kidney or bladder infection. She double checks which antibiotics to give me and writes a prescription. I mention a couple of times that Angie has said they should listen to the baby but she doesn't seem overly keen. In the end I say I will call Angie as I leave and see what she suggests to do. At that point the Doctor jumps up and goes to find the practice doppler.

After a few minutes I think she's forgot me and gone home but she appears in a fluster and tells me to lay on the bed. I do as asked and adjust my clothes. The Doctor puts the gel on my stomach and pushes the monitor around. heartbeat. The Doctor pushes down harder with the doppler. I do the best to fight back tears and the urge to wee. I don't know what to make of what the GP says next.