Sunday 1 April 2012

Pinch, punch, first of the month!!

I want to start my second blog by saying a HUGE thank you for all the amazing feedback I've had from my first blog. I was overwhelmed by all the supportive comments and messages from other women sharing their experiences, ranging from trying for a baby, being pregnant, miscarriage and other difficulties. One or two made me shed a tear and I thank you all for getting in touch.

So, whats happened in the last few weeks on the baby front? Well, not much to be quite honest, although there was a little ray of light, for 3 short days at least. My monthly 'gift from mother nature' (as the advert says) was three days late. For those of you that have at some point have had to keep a note of your monthly cycle for baby making purposes, you'll know too well how much your cycle rules your life. From noting the first day of your period, to taking your temperature and then peeing on a stick to see if your ovulating and peeing on a different one to see if your pregnant. Frankly its a lot of peeing and poking yourself, often with no result. 

All of this can lead to you knowing your body like clockwork including the first day, your most fertile day etc without even having to check. I even know someone with an app on their iPhone that helps track it all and tells them when they're due to ovulating!
Since a laparoscopy and dye operation last year, my cycle had been more accurate and precise, so I was shocked when I suddenly realised I was three days late. I bought a test and did the usual peeing on a stick. Sadly, it was negative and even worse my period started the next day with a vengeance. Think Niagara Falls in the spring and there goes another pair of M&S knickers!! I'll admit I was truly gutted and did have a tearful moment but not as long as normal. I think I've become hardened to it over the last four years. I've started to realise that conceiving naturally is likely to not happen. Endometriosis can cause miscarriage and fertility issues, along with a lifetime of pain but its a long road to getting help. Women can suffer with Endo from the moment their hormones and periods start or can develop over a years but in my case it was sort of between the two. Quite soon after starting but not immediate but not a long time after either. Having nothing to compare to can make the situation hard. As a teenager I would suffer with fainting, vomiting, nose bleeds and extreme pain but was basically told this is 'how things are, take painkillers, get use to it' and overall suck it up!! It wasn't until we started trying and after a couple of years suffered a miscarriage that my new GP took notice and amazingly the one that took the most notice was a man!! As you know from the first blog we've been referred to the local hospital and our next stage is on hold while I trim down my pale, white, fat ass! The weight loss has not gone well the last few weeks but I'll admit the exercise has lacked and I might help the situation if I didn't eat my feelings and most of my feelings are sadly cake, chocolate, more cake, crisps and any carbs you can think of! I didn't earn the nickname 'Cakey' without putting in some hard work!!! The diet starts (again) tomorrow.

Current favourite quote............

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts
Author Unknown

Stop by again soon!


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