Saturday, 10 March 2012

The first of many

So this is my first blog and hopefully the first of many, unfortunately I don't know where to start! I've written blogs before but never had the balls to publish them! So here I am, with balls, although theoretical ones! It'll be no surprise to some of my friends that I've written blogs before and not dared to let anyone read them. I've been working on a novel for four years and only let three people read the first few chapters, so the chance of me ever having the balls to send it to an agent are slim to none.

Laptop on a pink rug, next to a pot of pens, headphones and a board that reads 'you got this'

I suppose I'll start with a few little bits about me and what I'm about. I'm 29, married, no babies but one naughty cat, called Bruce. I'd like to say that being 29 and being so close to 30 doesn't bother me but I'd be lying and talking complete horse poop. I'm dreading turning 30!! The odd thing is I don't know why, possibly because its a number of things. To be honest I can't be sure. Maybe because as the youngest of 4 children (and the youngest of 14 grandchildren) I won't be the baby anymore. Perhaps because I thought I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams and would throw the most lavish of parties to beat all parties. Mostly likely, its probably because I thought I'd be a mummy by now. Some people have children young, some are older and I guess we were somewhere in the middle, well to start with. Now I think getting nearer to 30, my biological clock is ticking loud and clear but if it was that easy our house would be full of children by now. We got married when I was 24 and my husband was 22 (yes, he's my toy boy or tall boy as some family members called him as he measures in at 6'7), some people thought it was too young but we were teenage sweethearts and both of us wanted to be married before starting a family. Unfortunately, things have not worked out as planned and in October we'll have been trying for 5 years. 
Last year I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and had an operation to diagnose and partly treat it. It turns out I've had this since I was a teenager and all the problems I've had through the years are likely to be because of this. To receive further treatment I've got to lose a further stone and half, which is easier said then done. Having endometriosis means I struggle with my weight and it has gone up and down in the past few years. Our consultant recommends a low fat diet, which I'm trying as well as exercise but I have fits and spurts and one week will lose 3lbs plus and the next week and the week after that lose nothing. It's become increasingly hard and at sometimes depressing. Friends and family offer support as much as possible but it still feels a very isolating and lonely experience. The situation knocks your confidence and makes you feel a bit useless as a woman!
With this blog I want to try and raise awareness of infertility and endometriosis and the struggle that lots of women go through but I don't want it to be all tears and hope to bring a few laughs along the way! I hope to post each week with whats happening in my life, with our treatment, what I like and what I don't like. 

Current favourite quote....................

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

Marilyn Monroe 

I hope to see you again soon!


Please feel free to comment and if you enjoy ask your friends and family to read too!!

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