Monday 18 April 2016

What I've learnt so far

Time has passed so quickly and our little babs will be 2 in a matter of weeks. I can honestly say that the parenthood road has been bumpy. I've tried my best but yes I've made mistakes. Here's what I've discovered nearly 2 years in!

Little boy sitting in a teacup ride with a huge smile

Post pregnancy sometimes you will wet yourself and there's no avoiding it!

Cough. Pee. Sneeze. Pee. Laugh. Pee.  Brake suddenly in the car. Yes, sometimes I pee.

I never really understood the obsession with pelvic floor exercises. I used to do them but would always think would they really make a difference? Once you've been ripped in two you will be forever grateful you can strength them or at least try to!

You will have a poo/sick bowl/bucket.

As a child we had a sick bowl, which was formally a mixing bowl used for Christmas cakes. How gross?!! I'm never having one of those! EVER!!

Cue an explosive nappy and the need  to soak or scrub some clothes arises! But you need the bath to clean up the culprit of the explosion. Well, hello Mr Camping Washing Up Bowl. I knight you Sir Shit Soak.

Vests go down and off, as well as up and over!

I kid you not I didn't know this! I never understood why the shoulders on a baby's vest were like they are! Six poo explosions later and the thought of trying to avoid getting poo in the baby's hair again forced me to try it the other way. AMAZING!! Hello Mr Genius Vest let me introduce you to my friend Sir Shit Soak.

(I later discovered via a Facebook post that lots of other Mums and Dads didn't know this either!)

You will wear a non-wired bra much longer than you really need to.

Because it's comfy. Because your old wired ones don't fit. Because you can. Because you don't care. They're off the floor and that's the main thing.

There is no such thing as stress free weaning!

Baby led, parent led. Pureed, homemade, jarred. It doesn't matter, which you try the food will end up everywhere. Hair, face, feet, clothes and that's not just the baby! We've had it on us grown ups, the floor, the ceiling and even the cat! The key is to relax, which is much easier said then done! But I found the more stressed I got the more like he was to put the full bowl on his head.

You will never pee alone again.

Disruptions range from the toddler showing you their current favourite toy or flushing the toilet whilst your still sat on it, to your husband/partner asking you where the nappies or tshirts are kept! Yes, all of these have happened! Quite recently I had the husband, the toddler and the cat join me for good measure!

Your Facebook Mummy friends will be your go to girls.

You have a question. It's Mummy related and it's a bit daft. You don't fancy asking your Mum and you want a view opinions. You post your question/query/I need help type status on Facebook and within the hour your fellow Mummies young and old, have rallied and are there with advice and support. Simple things like....

Q. "Should I get my hair cut short to make it more manageable when the baby arrives?"
A. "No!" "Hahahahaha that's hilarious, do you think you will have time to style it everyday" "If it doesn't fit into a ponytail don't do it!"


Q. "The baby's teething, Calpol doesn't work, HELP ME"
A. "Put toothpaste on his gums, the calcium drawers the teeth through" "Try the powders, they sell them at the pharmacy near you" "A teething toy with the gel all over it" "Need a cuppa and an extra pair of hands?"

They will be your saviours, even if you haven't seen them since you left school in 1999.

You will lose friends

I have witnessed this on more than one occasion so sadly half expected it. Some of them won't like the change of pace/events/conversation topics but you've grown up and they can either suck it up or walk away.

You'll gain friends

Whether it be fellow mummies from antenatal class or old friends that you reconnect with and are part of your Facebook go to squad, they understand you're late, have sick on you, your hair needs washing, your boob is half hanging out or all of the above. In fact they're probably glad it's not just them!

People will give you their opinion on everything and anything, whether you want it or not!! 

How to make formula. How to bathe them. Which pushchair. Which nappy. Vest or no vest. Express or whip the boob out. When to ween. How to ween. You name it people will have an opinion on it and they will give it you! Whether you want it or not. After much practice, nodding and arguments, I have found the best thing is to nod and say something like....
"Oh well thanks, I'll think about it and might give it a go."
This way the person giving said advice thinks you are taking it on board and you can quickly change the subject and move on!

You will open your mouth and your mother's voice will come out.

I hate to say it but it's a bit true. I've opened my mouth and I've uttered words in the way my mother would and I'm horrified. I have even utter the words "careful the wind will change and your face will stay like that".  I promptly slapped myself.

I'm sure there is much, much more to learn along the way and what I've written is only the tip of the iceberg but with all of this I can say I have enjoyed our journey so far. No matter how stressful or how many times I've been covered in poo/sick/food it doesn't matter when I look at him. There is nothing like it. I love him to the moon back.

Mummy Snowy Owl

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