The final countdown

So here I am again, wired up and lying on a hospital bed. Oh joy. I'm on and off for an hour as the baby keeps shuffling away from the monitor. I get a break when I'm sent for a scan and am greeted by the same midwife as before. She explains the scan will be the same as before, with measurements taken and the baby's movements being checked. The midwife makes a start and I quickly hear the baby's heartbeat but as I look at the large screen on the wall one thing is clear. The baby isn't moving at all.

After nearly twenty minutes of being scanned the midwife calmly tells me that the baby is probably asleep. She suggests I go back out to the waiting area and drink some ice cold water from the water cooler. The midwife shows me out of the room and calmly closes the door. I put my bags down and as I shuffle past the other expectant parents. I see her go at speed across the waiting area and into a side room. I see her outline through the frosted glass of the office and can see her on the phone. When the midwife calls me back in she tries to reassure me as much as possible but it doesn't work.

Spring 2014

So here I am between 34 and 35 weeks pregnant, sitting on a bed in the labour suite of the local hospital, legs akimbo and a light being shone up, well, you know where!

After an uncomfortable few minutes I am told my cervix is closed, which is a good sign. I am sent home and told to return the next day for more monitoring and another scan. I am exhausted but the thought of my husband or Mum packing my things prompts me to stay up a little longer and throw together my hospital bag.

The next morning I decide to go into work before my appointment at the hospital. My boss is really understanding and has already told me not to go in but I really don't want to leave them in a mess. I try and creep in but the waddle in my walk and the large bump give me away. I promptly get an almighty bollocking for going in, which looking back is well deserved! I do the bits needed and one of my colleagues, commonly known as my work wife makes me a drink. I'm not sure which is more of a miracle, the fact I am pregnant or that she has made a drink! I feel quite tearful as I leave and my work wife has to turn away as we sniffle our goodbyes.

Winter / Spring 2014 - Bringing it all up to date!

So I’ll admit it. I’ve been very slack on the blogging front. Posting little snippets here and there and not bringing you up to date. Over the next few days I will bring you up to date. So, here it goes, from 2014 to now. Hold on to your knickers it’s going to be a bumpy ride!!

I last blogged about January 2014. I had a kidney infection and my midwife had told me to ask the GP to check for a heartbeat with a Doppler. When she does the GP can’t find a heartbeat. I am obviously upset. Close to distraught. She tells me to relax. If the midwife didn’t hear it last time she wouldn’t be able to find it. I tell her the midwife did find the heartbeat. She looks uneasy and tells me again not to worry.

By the time my husband gets home I have turned the house upside down looking for the open letter the hospital gave me. I can’t find it. I admit defeat and call one of the numbers on my notes. I explain the situation to the midwife on the phone. She is truly lovely and agrees that telling me not to worry is not the best advice. The midwife tries the best to reassure me and tells me to make my way in to one of the wards. One of the staff will then call them when I’m there, as they work out of an office on the ward in the evening.