So the day has nearly come around for my scan and I feel a mix of excitement and anxiety.
My husband and I discussed who and when to tell people and we have told around half a dozen to a dozen people and have sworn them to secrecy. One of those people is my Mum but the problem with telling her is that she CANNOT keep a secret! We did consider not telling our parents but thought it best to in case something unfortunate happened and we needed them. I was still a little unsure about telling them but became backed into a corner when Mum asked me to help her lift something heavy from the car. I said no and she stomped off, whilst my Dad gave me a look that said I was unhelpful little madam! Obviously they were over the moon when I explained why a few minutes later.
By the time my birthday and the scan came around I'm struggling to keep it under wraps. I feel sick a lot of the time but never actually throw up and spend a lot of the time feeling like I've just come off a rollercoaster. On my birthday my sister knocks at the door as I've got my head in the loo and as you can hear me heaving all over the house I think I may have been rumbled. Thankfully, she never asks and doesn't question why I am under the weather.
The next day we make our way to the scan and I'm shaking as we wait to be seen. As the baby will be little more than a heartbeat I have the delight of another internal scan. The nurse doing the scan advises us that she will look at things first and do some measurements and then explain to us what she sees. Although it seems to take a while she soon tells us what she sees. She points out the amniotic sack and at the top of the little sack, slightly to one side is a little flicker. That is the babies heartbeat. I feel a rush of emotion and my eyes well with tears. It looks like a little green bean growing and we nickname the heartbeat Bean. The nurse wishes us well and once we are ready sends us back out to the waiting area to wait to be seen by one of the other nurses.
It turns out the next nurse is one of the ones I have seen on a regular basis for my weight checks. She's the one who looks like she's never eaten a cream cake and is miserable because of it! This time she looks happy. No doubt it's because it's another good result for the units stats but she does seem cheerier than before. It's probably because she's grateful she's finally seen the back of me! She also wishes us well and tells me to now book in to see my GP. She asks if the nurse doing the scan pointed out the bleed on the picture and I think the shocked look on our faces says she hasn't. She explains that after the egg has implanted and begun to develop it has become unattached and reattached itself. This has caused a bleed which can be seen on the scan. We ask if this will cause an issue with the pregnancy continuing and she informs us it could move again and cause another bleed but it should hopefully stay attached but they have to tell us just in case. It's possible the blood created will come away or be absorbed and the nurses advises I call them immediately should I have any bleeding. We are both quite emotional as we leave and as usual we go to get a bite to eat!
When I'm back at work I tell the work colleagues that I work closest with and it seems they have all been desperate to know the outcome of my first round of clomid. They are all very happy and supportive and there's lots of 'don't overstretch', 'don't lift that' and 'is that what's call taking it easy and being careful'. I decide to do as I'm told but for those people that don't know I'm pregnant I'm sure they think I'm being a lazy cow!!
I have the 'booking appointment' with my GP, which is soon followed by my first appointment with my midwife, Angie. Having heard allsorts of tales about midwives, some good, some bad, I feel a bit apprehensive when I meet her. I'm incredibly lucky though and she turns out to be lovely. I feel so at ease with her and she takes interest in our battle to conceive, more than I think she needs to for the forms. Angie decides it's probably best due to my endometriosis and fertility treatment that I am consultant lead. This means appointments with a consultant at the hospital, as well as appointments with her and the usual scans. She does the referral and says the first appointment will be at the same time as my 12 week scan but due to the wait time it's likely I could be 13 or 14 weeks by then. I am desperate to see my little Bean again and check it is ok. I'm also struggling to keep the news to myself and those few that know!
The appointment letter comes through for the 25th November and the waiting game starts again!
To end here's the first picture of our little Bean.
Katie
xx
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